


Second Chance

by ChaosAngel1111



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: But there's Ereri fluff at the end, Character Death, Gay Marriage, Levi swearing, M/M, Mentions of Suicide, Mostly just Levi/Mike
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-01
Updated: 2014-09-01
Packaged: 2018-02-15 16:23:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,859
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2235582
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChaosAngel1111/pseuds/ChaosAngel1111
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>'To everyone,</p>
<p>'It's hard for me to talk about this, so that's why I'm going to write this all down, instead of just a simple 'goodbye', and maybe, when everything has been written, I won't feel the need to end my own life.'</p>
            </blockquote>





	Second Chance

**Author's Note:**

> Holy shit, this is the longest oneshot I've written so far! I apologise if there are any spelling/grammar mistakes or if it just doesn't make sense at all, I haven't slept in about... 34 hours? If my Maths is correct, eh, it's like six in the morning, so school starts up again tomorrow, so I probably won't have much time to write But if I'm being honest, everything is higher than homework on my priority list
> 
> Oh! This fic was kinda inspired by the song Second Chance by Shinedown, more specifically the line 'Sometimes goodbye is a second chance'
> 
> Oh! Oh! Also, I was watching the English dub of Attack on Titan and apparently Mike is pronounced 'mee-kay' so have fun with that
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

_'To everyone,_

_'It's hard for me to talk about this, so that's why I'm going to write this all down, instead of just a simple 'goodbye', and maybe, when everything has been written, I won't feel the need to end my own life.'_

Levi stopped writing for a moment, closed his eyes and took a deep, slow breath to calm his nerves and steady his trembling hand. He had to do this, suicide seemed like the only way to end his suffering, but maybe every one was right when they said that talking about it would help. Hopefully, he'd be able to tear his suicide note up, and be able to continue on with his life as a much happier person, without having to worry about dirtying the blades of his 3DMG and leaving behind a complete mess.

He tried to keep his writing small but readable, since he knew his story would be long and he didn't have a lot of paper to spare.

_'As I'm sure all of you know, Mike and I were together, we preferred not to keep our relationship hidden from everyone, well, we kept it hidden at first, but we were found out, so we gave up hiding. That's a story you'll never get to hear, though.'_

Erwin had gone to Mike's office to give him some documents and entered without knocking, only to find Mike sat at his desk with Levi riding him. The whole situation had been rather embarrassing.

_'I guess I should start this story from the start though._

_'I was a born in the underground and lived there for quite some time, I never knew my father and my mother died of some disease when I was seven, leaving me to fend for myself. I was by myself for two years and managed to get by alright, living in some long abandoned house, stealing food when ever I needed to, able to sneak around easily because I small and fast._

_'I met Isabel Magnolia first, she was in pretty bad condition when I found her hiding in the shadows of some disgusting alley. The rags she wore couldn't even be considered clothes, holes and rips everywhere, showing off her pale skin and skeletal figure. Despite knowing it'd be hard to take care of two people, I decided to take her in anyway._

_'She stayed inside for the first couple of weeks, but as her strength grew, she came out with me more and more and became the perfect partner in crime. She didn't talk either when we first met, but as her trust in me grew, she started to open up and even called me 'big brother'. The name annoyed me, but I began to mind less and less as time went on, she was the little sister I never had._

_'A few months passed and we met Farlan Church, he was older than me by a year, he was taller than me, and it looked as if life on the streets was treating him well. That's why I didn't trust him to begin with, but Isabel did and wanted him to join us, so our duo became a trio and we became quite well known in the underground. We ended up having to stay on the move since our hideouts were found quickly with all the people involved in tracking us down.'_

Levi smiled sadly at the memory of his first real friends, and allowed himself a few moments to dwell on that chunk of his past, before flipping over the piece of paper and carrying on with his life story.

_'Everything was alright until we stole some 3D Maneuver Gear._

_'The three of us were naturals at using the gear, and stealing and running away became so much easier, but the Recon Corps found out rather quickly and kept sending squads to the underground to capture us. We managed to escape easily each time, then they sent Mike and Erwin after us and they chased us for a couple hours before we were finally caught. With the help of Erwin, we were accepted straight into the Recon Corps, without training due to the skill we already possessed.'_

Levi clenched his jaw and sat stiffly, needing to take another deep breath to calm himself again, before putting the pen back to the paper.

_'We were with the Recon Corps for quite some time and I acquired the title 'Humanity's Strongest Soldier', but then Isabel and Farlan were killed by titans and I couldn't do anything to help. I turned into a rather unpleasant person then, well, more unpleasant than usual. I was pissed off at myself and took my anger out on other people, yelling at them simply because I wanted to until Mike finally snapped at me, surprising every one since he was usually so quiet._

_'I started to respect Mike more after that, he was the only who actually had the courage to face me up front. He was the only other soldier I could stand, other than Erwin that is, and I was later introduced to Hanji, who was annoying as shit and decided she was my friend without asking for permission. It took about a year for me to actually consider the three of them my friends._

_'I don't know exactly how it happened, but I fell in love with Mike, that big weirdo. I swear it happened over night, one day everything was normal, the next day every time I saw him my heart sped up and every time he said something to me, I forgot how to breathe, my brain stopped working and couldn't reply with sentences that actually made sense. When ever he smiled, I found myself smiling too, because it made me happy that he was happy, and when ever he was upset, I tried my best to comfort him until he told me to be quiet, because I was horrible with words and then we would sit in comfortable silence until he smiled and thanked me for cheering him up._

_'Not long after my discovery, he had to leave for a really important expedition, and I was told to stay behind even though I was one of the strongest soldiers. Erwin went too, so it was just Hanji and I, and I was so worried about them both, mostly Mike. They were gone for almost a month, and since nobody told me how long the expedition was, I just kept getting more and more worried and coming up with crazier and crazier ideas of what trouble they had gotten into. If I was any other person, I probably would have cried with sheer relief when they came back in one piece, but instead I just welcomed them back with a blank expression and Mike sniffed Hanji and I.'_

Levi remembered how he'd also been rather upset that Mike would die and that he should have told the older man how he felt before he left, and then how he promised himself that he would tell Mike if he came back alive. The Corporal sighed and opened a draw, pulled out a fresh piece of paper, and continued to write.

_'Hanji started rambling about everything that had happened while the two were gone, and Erwin told her what had happened during the expedition. At some point Mike and I managed to sneak away and when we were alone together, I told him that I liked him as more than just a friend, then he laughed and told me that it was obvious and that he could smell it, which I found weird. He then said that he felt the same way about me and we became a couple._

_'We kept it hidden well enough for a few years, until Mike became a squad leader and Erwin found out about us. Then we told Hanji and just stopped trying to hide it, some people found us disgusting and others said we looked cute together and made a great couple. Mike always smiled when some one said that, then he'd squeeze my hand and lean down to kiss my hair._

_'We spent a lot of our free time just holding each other and talking quietly, and he found it amusing to carry me around on his hip like a child, he laughed when ever I tried to protest and just held me tighter. Mike told me he loved me all the time, but I never really said it back, he knew that I loved him and didn't mind me not saying it. I liked to surprise him by just randomly saying it, and I got the best reactions from him when we were out in public or in the middle of a conversation with some one else._

_'Everything after that is just a blur of happy memories, a few fights here and there, completely normal, and then about five years ago, he proposed. I actually got pretty angry with him, telling him how he hadn't thought it through, how much trouble it would cause, and how stupid the idea was. I still said yes, and a year later we got married. We wore our rings all the time, I'm surprised no one said anything about them.'_

Levi could feel tears prick his eyes at the happy memories of his husband, and he fought them back, wondering how he still had tears left after all the crying he'd been doing recently. The effort it took to fight back tears left him shaking, and he had to wait a few minutes before he was calm enough to write.

_'The end of the latest expedition a month ago was also the end of my happiness. I was going to meet Mike at the gate, but I was a little behind on paperwork so I was stuck here at my desk, though I tried to write as quick as possible without screwing up anything important. I was just finishing up when there was a knock on my door, and I rushed to open to it, expecting to see Mike standing there with a grin on his face, expecting to be swept up into his arms and spun around until we were both dizzy as he told me how much he missed me, and how much he loved me._

_'But it wasn't Mike. It was Erwin, a somber expression on his face and a wooden box in his hands. I asked him where Mike was and he told me to sit back down, I barely even registered turning around and moving to sit back in my chair, or the soft thud of the door shutting. I knew what was coming and I desperately wanted it to be a horrible joke, just wanted Mike to come bursting in and start laughing while I yelled about how he scared the shit of me. But Erwin stepped up to my desk, dropped the box gently onto it, placed a fist over his heart, placed the other behind his back, looked me in the eyes and said, "Mike Zacharias was killed in action." I started laughing, but my laughter quickly deteriorated into sobs and I begged him to tell me it was a joke, or that he had some how managed to mix something up.'_

"Fuck." Levi cursed when he realised he was crying, he dropped the pen and lifted his hands to his face, scrubbing furiously, trying to stop the flow of salty tears. He let out a choked sob and leaned back in his chair, trying his hardest to control his breathing again and calm the fuck down. But he couldn't and the tears just kept coming, so he flipped the paper over and began writing again, hating the way his shaking hand made his writing scruffy and almost illegible.

_'Erwin explained to me that a titan had gotten a hold of Mike, then Hanji had some how managed to get him away from the titan and into an area that was a relatively safe distance away. They had tried to stop his wounds from bleeding, but it wasn't working and Mike told them where he had hidden that box, and not to look inside because it was only for me, and then told them to bury him in a certain place instead of cremating him, if they could bring his body back that is. And they did, but now that I think about it, I still haven't looked inside the box or visited Mike's grave. I really have to stop writing now though, because it hurts too much and I'm sure nobody can read this any more anyway. Writing this hasn't helped me, so goodbye all of you, I'm sure you're all upset, but try not to mourn for too long._

_'-Lance Corporal Levi Ackerman-Zacharius.'_

When Levi had married Mike, he'd wanted to keep his own last name, but he also wanted Mike's, so he just decided to have both and put a hyphen in the middle, but his husband just stayed Mike Zacharius.

He let his pen drop to the desk and stood from his chair, he remembered that he'd held the box tightly as he'd cried and screamed out his pain, and continued to hold it against his chest as he fell asleep. The next morning he'd slid the box under his bed, meaning to look inside later, but he'd forgotten about it, and now he was finally going to see what's inside.

He rushed over to the door that led to the bedroom he used to share with Mike, and yanked it open, he ran up to the bed and dropped to knees, he reached underneath and moved his arms about until he found the wooden box. The Corporal grabbed it and moved to sit in the center of his bed, legs crossed. Levi took a deep breath and slowly opened the box, the first thing to catch his eye was a piece of folded paper, he reached in and took it out, setting the box down. He unfolded the paper and began to read the words.

_'If you're reading this, it means I ran into some trouble, but managed to inform some one of the whereabouts of this box before I passed, and then they managed to get this box to you._

_'Even if I'm not with you physically, it doesn't mean that I'm not there at all, remember that, and you still have all of your friends, so talk to them, OK? You aren't alone._

_'Now, in this box is a bunch of things that I've collected over the years that remind me of you, or things that remind me of the stuff we've done together. Please look through this and remember all of the happy times, please, you know how much I hate seeing you sad, and I'll know if your upset, don't think I won't._

_'Don't spend your entire life mourning either, or you'll turn into some bitter old man, and nobody likes bitter old men. Mourn and heal, and if you're happy on your own, then I'm happy too, but if you get lonely, please give yourself a second chance at finding love, and give some one else the chance to love you like I do. I promise I won't be jealous._

_'I love you, I always have and I always will, and I swear on Wall Maria, if I find out that Levi Ackerman-Zacharius has found his way up here some time soon, I will not hesitate to kick your ass back down there. I don't want you to join me for at least ten more years, you got that?_

_'Now go enjoy a long life filled with thousands more happy memories, Levi._

_My friend, my lover, my husband, my comrade, this is good bye for now.'_

Levi wanted to laugh and scream and cry, all at the same time, but he calmed himself and instead reached into the box and rummaged through the other items.

He pulled out a smooth, grey pebble and frowned at it for a second, and then the memory hit him.

He and Mike had been staying in an inn for a few nights, though Levi couldn't remember what city they were in or why. One night Levi had said something and Mike had pretended to take offense at it, he took Levi's keys to the room and then jokingly locked him out. Levi had banged on the door and shouted at his lover to open it, only to be met with silence, and one of the people in the neighbouring rooms had growled at Levi to shut up since it was too late to be yelling so loudly. Levi, still locked out of his room, had stormed out of the inn, found the window to his shared room, and started throwing rocks at it. He could hear Mike laughing inside, and that only fueled his anger further, and he threw a rock hard enough that it smashed straight through the window. Mike and Levi had both been in a lot of trouble when the owners found out and were forced to pay for the damages.

Looking back on it now, the Corporal actually found it pretty funny, but held back the laughter and set the pebble aside. There were lots of other items, including a thin chain necklace, a badge with a kingfisher bird on it, a feather, and many others, seemingly random objects, but they all had special memories attached to them. Mike's ring was in there too, with a note attached saying that he had taken it off and left it in the box, before he left for the expedition a few months ago, just in case it got lost.

Levi slid the ring, along with his own wedding ring, onto the chain necklace and hung it around his neck, he clutched it tightly for a moment before gathering the things he had taken out of the box and putting them back, but something caught his attention. There was something else at the bottom of the box, small white squares of what must have been paper. He took them out and flipped them over, he gasped at the black and white images of him and Mike.

Then he remembered a time when he and Mike went to Trost, before it was attacked of course, and there was an old man tinkering with some weird thing that neither of the men recognised. Mike had asked what it was and the old man explained that it was called a camera, and it took things called photographs, which were like instant paintings. Levi didn't believe the man and told him to prove it, so the man took a few pictures of him and Mike together. One where Levi was just standing in front of Mike, with the taller mans arms around his shoulders. Another one where and Mike had decided to kiss Levi's cheek just as the picture was taken, and the last one was when Levi tried to push Mike away, but Mike had grabbed his wrists so he couldn't moved and placed a kiss on his forehead. The old man had laughed and told them to pick up the pictures the next day, giving them his address. Levi must've forgotten, but Mike had somehow managed to get the pictures without the shorter soldier knowing.

When he'd been told that Mike was killed, Levi's biggest fear, aside from the loneliness, had been gradually forgetting what his husband had looked like as he grew older. Now though, he had pictures of him and Mike together, and they were both happy, so he'd never forget what the older man looked like, or his smile, and the Corporal allowed a few choked sobs escape his lips as he stared at the images of him and his husband.

He cried for a few minutes, and then stared at the door that led to his office and remembered that he'd left his maneuver gear under his desk, then the words Mike had written echoed in his head, _'If I find out that Levi Ackerman-Zacharius has found his way up here some time soon, I will not hesitate to kick your ass back down there,'_ He chuckled at that, "I would like to see you soon, but I guess not tonight."

Levi put the photographs on his bedside table and slid the box back under his bed, he stripped himself of his uniform and rummaged in a draw, finally pulling out a rather large button up shirt. He was practically drowning in it, but it was Mike's and he always wore one of Mike's shirts when he went to sleep, though after a month, the shirt had lost the taller man's scent, and Levi wished that his nose was like his husband's.

He curled up under the covers of the large bed, and pulled them tightly around him. Levi didn't like sleeping alone, it was weird not having some one twice the size of him sleeping right there next to him, it was weird not having arms wrapped around his waist, it was weird not being held against some one's chest and it was weird not falling asleep to the sound of some one's heart thudding softly near his ear. Levi sighed, curling up even more, pulling the covers to fit snugly around his form, completely enveloping himself with the warmth as he drifted off.

~~~KMD~~~

Levi eyes fluttered open as he woke up, he could feel arms holding him tightly and a lazy smile crept onto his face. He sat up slowly and turned his head to the side, "Good morning, Mi-", only to be met with empty space. "Oh... yeah..." He turned to his bedside table, where he had left the pictures. He picked up the one where Mike was kissing his forehead as he tried to push the older man away. "I forgot... You're dead... You're a fucking liar, Mike, you said you' come back..." The Corporal could feel tears stinging his eyes, and he quickly lifted a hand to wipe them on his sleeve.

_'You know how much I hate seeing you sad.'_

Levi huffed at the words Mike wrote in his note, "You're making it kinda hard not to be, you bastard... I don't like being alone here..."

_'But if you get lonely, please give yourself a second chance at finding love, and give some one else the chance to love you like do.'_

The Corporal huffed again, maybe he could give some one a chance... It'd been a month since Mike had died, that was enough time to mourn, right? He didn't really need much longer or he'd turn into a bitter old man, like Mike had said...

He tried to think of people who he liked, it couldn't one of his friends, that'd be weird, and certainly not a girl... and the other person had to like Levi too... "Fuck..." He growled, he really didn't want to be alone, years ago he would've preferred it... But now, he needed some one by his side... He couldn't just force himself on some one though...

"Fuck..." Levi growled again, "Is it weird to say that I miss the way you used to sniff me every chance you got? You fucking weirdo, this is what you've done to me..." He set the photo back on his bedside table with the other two.

He scrubbed at his face as he searched his brain for some one... and then it hit him. 

Eren Jaeger.

Levi had noticed the way that the cadet had looked at him when ever they were around each other. Eren looked at Levi the way Mike used to, with such love and adoration, and Levi had noticed the way the boy would always look at Mike with barely concealed jealousy.

Levi pursed his lips, he didn't really know how he felt about Eren though. He was loud-mouthed, short-tempered, persistent, a complete brat, he didn't know when to shut up most of the time, but he was also kind, loyal, hard working, understanding... Levi decided to give Eren a chance, but he didn't want to seem like some sort of whore or something, getting a boyfriend a month after his husband died... But then, they wouldn't be boyfriends straight away, would they...? "Ugh, I'm too old to be anyone's boyfriend..."

Levi rolled out of bed and stepped into the conjoined bathroom, combing his hair quickly in the mirror and brushing his teeth, before pulling on a pair of shorts. He really couldn't be asked to change into his uniform, he wouldn't be doing anything today anyway, at least, he didn't plan on doing anything.

Levi hurried down the corridors of the castle, it was quite early, so hopefully Eren would in the mess hall. When he reached the room, he pushed the door open gently and peeked his head in. Luckily, Eren was still there, sitting with the rest of Levi's squad, there were other people dotted around the mess hall, but Levi didn't pay them any attention as he stepped up to the table Eren was sat at.

His squad stood quickly and saluted respectfully as he approached, but they didn't bother to hide their surprise at Levi out of uniform and his choice of casual clothes. Mike's old shirt was slipping off of one shoulder, revealing the pale skin underneath, and the necklace and ring he'd put on last night, his light grey shorts just barely reached his knees, and he wasn't wearing shoes.

"Sit back down," The Corporal ordered, and his squad did as told, but he grabbed Eren's arm before he could, "Not you, Jaeger. I need to talk with you."

"Y-yes, sir!" Eren stuttered out, cheeks flushing, but Levi couldn't tell why.

Levi spun on his heels and began heading back to his office, Eren following closely behind him and asked what he wanted to talk about it in a worried tone that almost made the shorter man want to laugh.

They arrived and Eren kicked his boots off at the door, without even being told, and stepped up to Levi's desk. Levi realised too late that he'd left his suicide note on the desk, because  
when he turned to grab the pieces of paper and rip them up, Eren was already reading them. His eyebrows were furrowed and his mouth was hanging open slightly, his eyes filled with fear and hurt as they scanned the words written quickly. When the boy was done, his head snapped up and his green-blue orbs met with Levi's silver ones.

A feral growl escaped Eren's throat as he continued to stare at Levi, but his anger dissipated the longer he ranted. "What the fuck is this, Corporal?! W-why are you-... Why are you planning to... kill yourself? Why-what? I-I don't understand... Corporal, please... d-don't do this... don't p-please...!" The titan-shifter collapsed to the floor, papers dropping along with him, sobs escaped his throat and tears poured down his cheeks. "Y-you can't, Sir! What would I-we... W-what would we do w-without you...?! I-I know you lost Mike... b-but please, t-think about this!"

Levi's eyebrow twitched in irritation at the boy just jumping to conclusions like that, "I'll have you know that I wrote that thing last night, and I was going to go through with it, but I remembered something and changed my mind, and I was going to rip that up, but I didn't get a chance. And that's partly why I wanted to speak with you, you fucking brat." He knelt in front of Eren and wiped his tears away with his thumbs, "Get the fuck off the floor, it's filthy since I've had too much on my mind to do any actual cleaning."

Levi could've sworn he got whiplash from the way Eren's mood changed so quickly, "Oh? That's unlike you Corporal." He said as he stood up, dusting off his uniform.

"Tch, shut up." Levi muttered, ripping the papers of his suicide note into tiny pieces and throwing them into the bin next to his desk, and then he sat down in an arm chair near the coffee table, Eren sitting opposite him in a matching arm chair. "Now, I do believe I actually wanted to talk with you about something, Jaeger."

The shorter man went on to explain more about his past, per Eren's request, then about the note Mike had left, and lastly explained how much he missed Mike and how he really didn't want to be alone, and he might've gotten a little... emotional. 

He ended up wrapped in Eren's arms, held tightly to the boy's chest. Eren had stripped down to his underwear, and Levi had allowed him to borrow another of Mike's shirts, except it fit Eren slightly better and didn't hang off his shoulders. They were both lying on Levi's bed, covers pulled to their waists.

Levi had his ear pressed to Eren's chest and he fell asleep to the soothing _thump, thump, thump_ of the boy's heart, even though it was only midday. He was glad that he gave Eren a chance.

**Author's Note:**

> There were a lot of scenes I wanted to include in this, but it was getting long and then I just couldn't find places to slot them in, so maybe I'll do like an extra chapter with random Mike/Levi and Ereri scenes?
> 
> This fic is also on DeviantART under the name 'chaosangel1111' and FanFiction under the name 'IShipAlmostAnythingYaoi'


End file.
